What Causes an Adult Child’s Inability to Belong?

An adult child may spend a good portion of his pre-recovery life on the outside, looking in, yet never understand how others seem so comfortable and connectable with each other. The need to bond with others and, indirectly, the whole and home from which his soul came is intrinsic and God-given.

“Most human beings have an instinctive need to fit in,” according to the Al-Anon text, “Courage to Change” (Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1992, p. 361). “The urge to belong, to keep the peace, helps us get along with others and be a part of society. This instinct has allowed many civilizations to survive… “

While this may be both a natural and logical need, it may be little more than an unattainable theory to an adult child, whose development was arrested and whose reactions stretch as far back as his initial parental or primary caregiver betrayal, shame, and trauma.

Several reasons can be cited as to why.

That original trauma, first and foremost, may have left him as a resource-less infant with no ability to protect himself or escape the danger the very parents who should have nurtured him created, leaving him little choice but to spiritually flee within and tuck his soul into the cocooned inner child sanctuary, which remains mired at its time of impact.

Substituting this true or authentic self with a false or pseudo one, he is unable to connect with others and, indirectly, God or a Higher Power of his understanding. Indeed, the substituted ego, as has often been dissected, only “edges God out.”

Chaotic, unsafe, and unpredictable upbringings, secondly, only breed mistrust, leaving the person to subconsciously believe that those he will later encounter in his life will subject him to the same predatory attacks and danger he experienced in childhood, since he has little or no experience with environments that were stable and in which he was not the target of his parent’s anger and hatred.

Because these circumstances have most likely resulted in a post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) condition, leaving his protective radar high and causing his chronic hypervigilance, this dynamic, along with his inherent mistrust, causes him to maintain his distance from others. He repels intimacy and his relationships become superficial.

He can, for instance, be in a room with a dozen others, yet feel alone and isolated, because he cannot find a crack in his defensive wall that will allow them in.

If I couldn’t trust my own allegedly loving and protecting parents, he may reason, then how can I trust them?

His detrimental upbringing, which he justified as having been the result of his own intrinsic flaws and unlovability as a person and which further shattered his self-esteem because of its demoralizing nature, additionally diminished his value, leaving him to believe that he is not worthy enough to be with others. If he cannot connect with them, how can he feel equal and up-to-par with them?

This lack of worth was equally reinforced by the abusing parent …

8 Things to Consider when Buying a Laptop Computer

Buying a laptop computer that will suit your specific needs typically takes some serious time and research. The important thing to keep in mind is that different users needs different notebooks. The very first thing you need to do is to carefully think about what you'll be using your new laptop computer for. Once you now this you will have fewer problems finding the right model.

Here are eight things to consider when buying a laptop computer:

1. The ports. You should make sure that laptop has lots of USB ports for devices such as printer, mouse, flash drive, digital camera, etc. If your laptop does not come with many USB ports, you will need an USB hub. If you plan to connect your laptop to a TV, you will need an s-video port.

2. CD / DVD. Most of laptops come with a CD writer and DVD reader drive. If you want to copy DVDs, you will need a DVD writer drive. At this time the maximum speed for burning a DVD is 16X.

3. The hard drive. The speed of hard drive is measured in rpm or Rotations per Minute. Try to find a laptop that has 4200rpm or 5400rpm. A laptop with 40 Gigabytes is sufficient for an average person.

4. The memory. Your laptop should have at least 1 GB of memory. However, you can get a notebook with 512 MB and work with Windows XP. You should avoid a laptop with only 256 MB of memory.

5. The processor. You can choose between Intel and AMD. At the moment, Intel has the best processor for a laptop called the Core 2 Duo. The speed of processors is measured in Gigahertz. The larger the number, the faster the processor is. There are also Dual-Core processors. It means they can process two things at the same time. As a result, the power of the processor is doubled.

6. Size. You should choose a smaller screen if you carry your laptop a lot. Typically a 14.1 inch screen is considered small. A 17 inch screen is considered big. A 17 inch screen is heavier and use up more battery life. You can get a 15 inch or a 15.4 inch.

7. The warranty. Each laptop computer should come with one year warranty from the manufacturer covering only defective equipment. You can also get an extended warranty covering any accidents you may have.

8. The brand. The average brand of laptop is Dell, HP, Gateway, Acer and Compaq. The better brand of laptops is Sony, Toshiba, Alienware and IBM-Lenovo. …

SEO Writing Definition – Get Answers Here for Better Understanding

Right now, there's definitely lots of information about SEO writing available in the online arena. Sadly, not all of them are factual. In fact, most of them are baseless and they are really confusing especially for people who are just starting out in this endeavor.

This is the reason why I am writing this article. Let me give you the right information to help you better understand what SEO writing is and what is not.

  1. It's not all about writing for search engines. Although the main goal in optimizing web content and articles is to secure better rankings on Google, SEO writing is not all about using keywords and optimizing your content. It's about striking a good balance between keyword usage and writing valuable content for your readers. You will not get the results that you're looking for even if your articles are properly optimized if online users consider them as garbage.
  2. Writing SEO articles does not automatically mean making money. Well, I am not referring to freelance SEO articles writers who can really make money by selling SEO articles to their clients. What I mean here is if you write your SEO articles and if you distribute them to directories, you will not automatically make money. These articles will not give you cash but they'll help in bringing traffic to your website. You will then need to convert these people to paying customers in order to make a sale and therefore, make money. So, do not be shocked when you're not making cash right after you've written and published SEO articles in the online arena.
  3. The rules of search engines can change. The rules of Google and other search engines when indexing web pages and articles can change any minute. What I mean is that what worked yesterday, might not work today. So, it's important that you always keep yourself abreast about these changes. Although search engines do not typically announce this, you can get updates by keeping in touch with other SEO experts. Just keep in mind that the main focus of search engines is to give online users valuable information and content related to their search. Keep this in mind and you'll certainly not get lost along the way.
  4. Using related keywords will help. Using latent semantic indexing technique will really help you secure better rankings for your web pages and articles. This is the process of identifying and using terms and phrases that are related to your primary keywords. These could just be synonyms. This will help you convince the search spiders that the keyword that you're targeting is really relevant to the content that you've written.
  5. Using more than keywords than what is allowed will not help. Overloading your articles and web pages with lots of keywords will not give you better chances of getting them to appear on top of relevant lists. The key here is moderation. The density of each keyword that you're using for each of your articles must not exceed 2%.

Creating an Ordinary to Extraordinary Website

There are millions of websites now that can be found in the internet world. All are working towards online success because it is the best spot for marketing in generation today. And I believe it will become bigger and larger due to high technological advances that are flourishing continuously. With this, you need to create an extraordinary website from the ordinary one that you already have.

One reason of doing this is the competition running around in the internet marketing. Many are using different kind of tactics to easily spread web page or business information to online users. Websites are important because it is the way to help people find you or your business where they are actually searching for what they need. Do not afford to loose contacts if your website is not click to their mind because they will easily click on other links which are definitely your competitors.

SEO or search engine optimization is the answer for your worries in turning ordinary to extraordinary website. Although millions of sites working online right now to prove their capabilities, SEO is for sure what they will lack if forgotten. SEO provides strategies to boost the integrity and level of content of a website. It does not make good looking website because of high definition graphical effects but will optimize a website the right way for search engine visibility. Many people make this mistake. They think that SEO is going to make their website better. This is not the case. Search Engine Optimization only increases the traffic to your website. If you have a crappy website before you do SEO, then you will have a crappy website after you do search engine optimization.

Making sure you do your search engine optimization correctly will also make sure that you will not be penalized for unethical search results. Let me tell you, being penalized by search engines is not very fun. That is one thing you do not want to happen to your website. To make sure that this type of thing does not happen, you must always focus on trying to do "white hat" SEO. This means staying as safe as possible. NO SPAM! Nobody likes spam and that includes search engines. Creating an extraordinary site is not so difficult if you will study and learn the strategies of SEO and follow with application. After you do SEO, traffic will increase with the idea that you will get more money. …