The internet is one of the largest communication venues to connect with old friends and meet new ones. Many people have even found love on the internet and have lived happy lives. Then there are some whose lives have been turned upside down due to their partners spending more time on the internet than with them.
All to often I hear people crying their hearts out that their partner no longer loves or respects them anymore due to the internet. Just recently I had an opportunity to a young lady who has been married for two years, has a two year old son by her husband, and is presently having their second child. All she has ever asked her husband to do was to be honest with her and talk to her. She has never been upset about him talking with his old girlfriends (as long as done in a decent manner during appropriate time of the day) as she realized that before there was her, these other people existed. She even still talks to some of her old boyfriends just to see how things are going. They have always been open and honest about their past relationships and never felt intimidated by their former partners as they were just that–EXs.
Little did she know that her husband was instant messaging his ex-girlfriend (this problem almost led to their divorce) during all times of the evening as well as other female friends her husband told her he no longer communicated with. You ask how she found out? One day she was beginning to work on a paper for school and she noticed that her internet information was up. Not thinking anything of it, she sat her two year old son on her lap and opened up the information to see what it was. Her heart was broken as her husband left his instant messaging conversation along with some unsightly pictures of nude women on her computer. She felt like once again that no matter how much she tried to make her marriage work, her husband’s need for the internet outweighed his love and desire to be with her. You see, he told his wife that he was no longer in contact with this person as she was still holding out hope that they would be together. He continues to encourage this relationship due to his need to feel needed by women with low self-confidence. In light of recent events, the young lady has no idea what she will do as she has another baby on the way and cannot afford to move out on her own. She feels like she is a prisoner to her husband’s addicted love to the internet.
This truly breaks my heart as love is a precious gift that should be honored and cherished within all relationships. In all honesty, I really do not believe that these instant messaging services or internet love sites meant to break up relationships when they developed them. The only thing these services were supposed to provide was a means of expanding communication to people instantly.
Maybe that is the problem! Everybody wants things to be done quick, fast, and in a hurry and no one wants to take the time to work on the lines of communication within their relationships. What this couple and others like them fail to realize is that every time you add another person (rather real life or via cyberspace) you run the risk of sharing more within your cyber relationship or with your ex-partners than with your current love. Then you end up like this beautiful young couple where they only take to each other via e-mail, instant messaging, and via telephone (even within the house). She no longer wants to talk to her husband in person as she believes he has turned their family into a family plagued by technology.
So if the internet is causing a rift within your relationship, take some time out to see how your behaviors make your partner feel. What would you do if you were the other person on the opposite end reading an instant message between your mate and her ex-boyfriend? Would you be mad or would you just shrug it off as though it were nothing? No matter what your answer is, if this sounds like you and you have reached your breaking point within your relationship then it is time to re-evaluate your relationship and see whether or not it is worth staying or moving on. Can you stand to continue feeling like you have been cheated on by your partner’s love for the internet? If you cannot then consider seeking some work with a relationship coach or counselor to help you make the right decision for your life as we all deserve to be happy.